Decoding Kerala: Unveiling the Average Malayalee Story

I was lazy to get one of my own featured image: Triangle travel - Monsoon in Kerala, trip planner 

So recently, I moved out from my native coast of Thiruvananthapuram to the financial capital of India, Mumbai; who didn't wish for a change, lol; a different perspective I say - mostly career advancement.

It was tough, many times to cage up within four walls, but luckily I got up with some good people, colleagues, and neighbors - a comfortable space. Even though many times, the conversations end up flushed in What, When, Where, and How "Kerala" is. Thanks to Sudipto Sen's decades of cringe research "The Kerala Story" and its charade, I have got a lot of time on putting words too.

If you're an outsider, Congratulations! You have saved some money on your train to Kerala - rather than buying a mishap book on it. If you're a Malayali, your way to the top-right corner or swipe left. Because there isn't space for your enthusiasm here, lmao.

One of the statements I used to hear nowadays is, "Oh, so your Malayalam". -soul left, no words!.

Malayalam is the official language of the state of Kerala and the union territory of Lakshadweep. It is also spoken by bilingual communities in contiguous parts of Karnataka and Tamil Nadu.

So the question is,

Who is a Malayalee (Malayali)?

Malayalee is a person who's born to Malayalee parents, sole to have a mother tongue in Malayalam, who learns the first word "അമ്മ" (Sound: Amma, Noun: Mother), a natural citizen of Kerala. Amul babies - Gulf+ borns, Shish; you're not in.

Oh,

Kerala?

India`s most idyllic state, better known as God's Own Country, Kerala. Ah. it's a cringe, for me - nowadays. Strategically located at the southwestern tip of India, Kerala enjoys unique geographic features which have made it one of the most popular tourist destinations in Asia.

A long shoreline with serene beaches tranquil stretches of emerald backwaters, lush hill stations, and exotic wildlife, are just a few of the wonders that await you once you crossover to the other side. Flanked by the Arabian Sea in the West, the towering Western Ghats in the East and networked by 40+ interconnected rivers, Kerala is blessed with a unique set of geographical features and what's more, each of these destinations is nearly a two-hour drive from the other - a singular advantage no other place on the planet can offer. Because our state looks like a bitter gourd (പാവയ്ക്ക/paavaykka) shaped in the maps.

If you ever wanted to come to Kerala, luckily we got three important cities for international connectivity - Kozhikode, Kochi, and Thiruvananthapuram.

Kozhikode is a coastal city, located in the northernmost part of Kerala, It is literally a gateway to the culturally important Malabar region, a significant spice trade center, and is close to Kappad Beach, where Portuguese explorer Vasco da Gama landed, what I learned in schooling. But what I more know about is Kozhikode, the place where people actually know to make Mutton biriyani or any other type - but it gonna be a vivid taste for sure.

Kochi lies in the center, the most densely populated city in Kerala, a financial hub. an international airport, a port, and home to the southern naval command. Forget to highlight the increasingly fashion-conscious nature and pan-Indian feel there.

Thiruvananthapuram a.k.a Trivandrum is in the south and the administrative capital, a major information technology hub, a notable academic and research hub, hosts the Southern Air Command headquarters of the Indian Air Force, the seat of the erstwhile Royal family of Travancore, "The City of Lord Ananta" referring to the deity of the Sri Padmanabhaswamy.

Kerala is one of India's most progressive states in terms of social welfare and quality of life. The State boasts of one of India's highest literacy rates, highest life expectancy, and lowest child mortality rates. The literacy rate for women in Kerala is one of the highest in all of Asia.

Does it snow?

Seasons? Climate?

Snows, yup in the form of Rain - Rains so that your body filled up all the way. Rain is a constant, which builds the greenery and serenity in the state. A true nostalgia, which pumps up all the age class.

Ahhh shit, I prefer football more.

Vacation comes up in the summer, not to mention the temperature rose up to 40 degrees if you're in Palakkad or Thrissur districts. But though the stumps, bats are all set, and നാരങ്ങ Shoda (Lime Soda) is all set for the day sessions.

Summer moves till mid-August, and September brings up our own prestigious fest, Onam - Kerala's biggest harvest festival. I don't want to flex here. Since we have gone through watching Onam celebrating in a whole other continent, miles away - American Malayali Associations, and not to mention the latest trends in the UK.

December, January, and February; what to say a lite version of Winter. But I would say nothing brings chill as that of monsoon in Kerala and I would suggest no one to visit during monsoon in Kerala, since the face of nature and rain we have seen for the past couple of years.

Then comes the trending one...

Religion? Caste?

Oh, we are good at this topic. Kerala is an at most secular mix standing of - Hindu, Muslim, and Christian. Forgot to mention, I have a few Jew friends around, though these three religions cover mostly. Despite the variety of religious traditions within it, its longstanding tolerance and embracement of religiously ideological diversity has made, Kerala, examples of the harmonious interweaving of cultures and religious traditions for thousands of years making me proud to be from there. Even though, I believe in the mindful lessons of our histories, culture, and traditions because religious intolerance and injustice are proliferating at an alarming rate within India. 

According to legend, Kerala was formed by Lord Parasuram; and Lord Ayyappa consorted with Vavar, a Muslim. Hindu devotees worship at Vavar's mosque before making their way to Sabarimala, the seat of Lord Ayyappa. And out of five Catholic saints from India, four are from Kerala.

We all live in peace and harmony, bruh.

A sketch by Cartoonist, EP Unny that he tweeted in the heart of the state, Thiruvananthapuram.

Even today, marrying within their caste, even after drastic changes in the caste system. If it's a no, literally, no one would haven't seen the Nair, Ezhava... Matrimony ads in television, Oh I even saw it in the youtube ads nowadays. Caste is an invisible barrier there, accepting dowry on the basis of caste, jobs are done on the tag of patriarchy.

Did someone say sugar?

Stereotypes, Sexism, Misogyny

Kerala is often called the most educated of all Indian states. But misogyny thrives among the most educated people in almost all spheres of life. Men dominate the public space, workspace, and even politics, we haven't seen a woman, Chief Minister. Sexism is passively prevalent, viewing feminism as animosity, and even slut-shamed for expressing their opinions. A majority are leftists but go to temples, mosques, and churches for their well-being, practicing caste ideology, marrying within the caste, and not to mention proclaiming its absolute tradition and culture - is a part of Kerala. Malayali doesn't walk around in a white shirt, white mundu/dhoti, or all sari, as you have seen in the Google images, lol; we wear jeans, shirts, salwar even slut shame on one with crop tops. bruh. One thing - Malayali never say Namaskaram! every time someone comes up, until he wishes you deserve one.

So, where is the average?

A Typical Malayalee

An average Malayalee is from a Hindu household in Palakkad or An average Malayalee is a Muslim in Malappuram or a Christian in Kottayam. Yes, we are diverse and scattered throughout the bitter gourd /പാവയ്ക്ക land.

An average Malayalee is a person who holds at least an undergraduate degree or a formal education, I would say. If he comes from the upper end of the knot, I meant class and smart - the frequency of opportunity and being the relative's role model presentation. If he isn't one, probably looking for migrating to the Middle East, the US, or Europe, since he didn't get up placed in a Government job or a white-collar private job. If unemployed, unfortunate to get educated an average Malayali is into hardworking manual labor for making a living and expectations. If you find someone jobless, but well-educated and smart, naah; he is waiting for the next big thing - be a social media influencer, or would be making a huge turnover from the friend-recommended MLM company.

But the best part - most of us will be going through these levels, and fix on one, permanently until we get a spank from the Guardians of the Galaxy, None other than our mother and father. These profound heroes run down all of the chores in our small four-walled galaxy.

A monsoon diary - Russell Shahul/Manorama

The early bird will be always mom waking up around 05:00 am or so, probably I would be bound in bed at this time. Mother soaks the Brown Rice/Matta we call on the majority in water and make steamed rice. Nop.. you may be thinking, rice all around the day... seems true and not. Though it's the lunch getting ready so that she can send out the office going/school going. Typically, You won't be able to see the Ayya/Maid system here, but some in the tier-1 places are preferred, but majorly Mother is the custodian of the kitchen. A patriarchial notion may be to your eyes - It is the duty of the woman house-maker to make food for the family and pack the food in containers for lunch if the husband and kids are leaving - you can see it often here.

Then comes our breakfast, a vegetarian dish - maybe Dosa, Idli, or Puttu (steamed rice powder with coconut shredded in it) with veg curry. Oh, on thinking, I really miss her puttu and kadala/chickpeas curry - often I used to fight with her for usually making it. Regrets, lmao. By 10:00 AM everyone leaves the house and the Mother begins her binge-watch of repeated local serial episodes or any music channel or plays random YouTube videos until she begins her kitchen chorus for the next meal when everyone returns. Nowadays more and more homemakers are now in Govt and private jobs, hands-off in the effort they create to balance both since most of them are forced to do the home chores and her office work without the help of anyone in the family.

The art of puttu making - Subbu's Kitchen

Forgot to mention, if a girl sibling is at home; she is the second mom there - no offense you will be rained down with headshots if you mess around in that jurisdiction. No girl child in Kerala homes moves out from their parent's house until they get married, until its better education or job. Maybe the whole family will be shifting out rather than one. No chills, the move-out is equally applicable to boys too... Even if the chances are odd, the talk will come up regarding it. While the boy in the family looks out for the house and is traditionally bound to look after their parents. Inheritance and all depends on the family, caste, and locality trends, no words regarding that matter. 

The average Malayalee lives away from the city, out of most rush hours, and commutes to the office or school, in turn making a rush. The average Malayali family owns two vehicles at home, a 125 cc Scooter for errands, and a 150 cc+ motorbike to travel to office/school. If it is one who is stable with finance and work, mostly probably would be having a car like Alto or Wagon R - obviously, since it's economical and has less maintenance cost, but sure the choice of car can go up based on how good the stability is.

Is it true?

Malayalee man comes of age with a ‘small’ in one hand

The average Malayalee will drink when he is happy to celebrate. He will drink when he is sad to forget. He will drink when he is angry to calm down. He will drink when he is confused about a decision. He will drink when he is ill, to feel better. He will drink on long weekends, hartals and holidays. There is something to be said about the Malayalee’s ability to laugh at himself even when the joke is on him.

The ‘touchings’ is a whole cuisine by itself, so take your wife or girlfriend to the posh toddy shops or bar hotels to sample touchings - Beef dry fry, Duck roast, Pork masala, Natholi, Shrimp, squid fry, obviously the seafood platter, boiled tapioca and fish curry. And, if you can’t afford any of it, there is the pickle in a packet, which is how I guess the term ‘touchings’ emerged. Touch, lick, drink. Drink, touch, lick.

A representative image - filling up the stack for weekend

Starting an argument, getting into a brawl, throwing up, passing out, all of it is customary. Nothing much changes whether he drinks in a bar hotel, toddy shop or his own house. A man is a man when he drinks that is the concept they speak out. I once read in The Economist, "At 8.3 liters of alcohol per citizen per year, rate of consumption is the highest in India". True in fact most of the Kerala govt's revenue is built up on the beverages outlet. There isn’t anyone better behaved or more orderly than waiting in line outside the Beverages Corporation outlets, There is no pushing or jostling. In fact, I wish they displayed as much restraint and calm when they queue to enter Guruvayur or the Sabarimala temples. Even we can mention, During the time of the pandemic - the state government put out an online app to get the bottles at your home. The bond is not weighable.

Where do you people go?

Weekends, Travels

The average Malayalee who lives closer to the coastal region will obviously get to see waves. Beaches are like a really bad temptation for many Malayalees. Since I came from a coastal side, I know about many frequent people outside of our region coming to see the waves. Even nowadays, I also take a 2hrs ride on my weekends to get a glimpse of the vast sea, it is like Saturday, and marine lines are blocked in my calendar.

Though, Munnar and Thekkady are frequent destinations in the weekend plans, getting up to chill yourself. Get a car, even a rental, grab everyone in, and move that will be the motto. Since a talk can make the whole plan a drain.

These are some popular suggestions though most of them will be engaged in the house chores. From washing clothes to washing the whole damn house, shopping to visiting relatives, and if you aren't ready for it. Don't worry Mother will be there with the tools from her arsenal to correct you up. Sometimes all these plans can be disrupted by fathers movie plans, if it is a month's end forget about it, it's not gonna happen. If it's someone around and within 25, mostly an evening out with friends on the mall or commercial street is a must agenda.

Even though you will be feeling like I been boasting so, be it or you can just give a look here: nothing much some people telling their own views, and thoughts of Kerala. Shish; if I had seen this up earlier, this wouldn't have ended up now. 

• What does the rest of India think of Malayalis?
• What do the others feel about Keralites?
• What is the most negative thing about a Malayali?

All this writing, literally made my thoughts put up a long leave the next day itself, aahhh! It's been a long time since I tried to put some words in. Anyway, the experience for me has been surreal, and will always be. I hope it will be the same for you too when you visit Kerala.

Books, Quora, and Notepad were been always a companion for me. Also, I used to write technical articles, and writeups earlier, but it's scattered all around different places- now I think it will be better to start something organized in a new place. I believe this blog will be well maintained, and be regularly fed. So hope you will be peeping around some other time on a different thought.